How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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