Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
