please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
