she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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