someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
