You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
only you would photoshop your dick
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
