Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
