Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
