dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wanna passion pit in your ass
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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