I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
