More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i will never coherently bang her
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
