if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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