found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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