i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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