if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
His nipple licking is glorious
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