We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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