This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm always down for nudity.
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