So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
