just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
