I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
