Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
