He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
