Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
