So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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