i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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