My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize