i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
