The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I hate all girls vehemently.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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