I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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