talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
