I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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