3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
