the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
