dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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