i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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