found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
