What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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