Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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