im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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