Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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