Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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