I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize