So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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