I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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