2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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