this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
