I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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