but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
