I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
