That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
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