i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
