What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
