Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
