Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
