You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize