I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
