Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
