whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm at about main and main street
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
