Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
