I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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