You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
