it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
