I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
