I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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