weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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