i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
